Think about how you talk to yourself. What do you tell yourself about your actions, your conversations, your body? Does it sound something like this?
“Ugh. I’m so stupid! How could I have done that?”
“I’m such a flippin’ failure!”
“My belly is so disgusting.”
Fill in your favorite criticisms, record, and then hit the play button for your daily dose of self-hatred. How delightful is that? We are manifesting stupidity, failure, and disgust – seeing it everywhere we look because we have programmed it in.
Think of a loved one – your partner, mother, child, dog – someone that you just love with all your heart. Can you imagine talking to them like that? Can you imagine looking at them with disgust and disdain and telling them that their body is disgusting? Of course not!
You would never spend all day re-telling them the story of their mistake followed by an onslaught of critical remarks. “You really screwed that one up. Bet you feel really stupid. Do you think you just ruined your entire career? You are such a failure that you are going to end up all alone with no one to love you – not even me! You are just terrible…”
Imagine whispering that to them as wake up; shouting that through the bathroom door as they take a shower; trotting after them down the street calling out your insults; sitting across from them at the table at lunch and reminding them why no one is sitting with them; on and on throughout the day berating them.
It sounds absurd yet it is what we do to ourselves. We somehow think it is ok to have absolutely no compassion for ourselves. No self-love. How sad is that? Would you want your loved ones to hurt so deeply?
Spend some time today giving yourself some empathy. Hold your heart with the loving kindness of a parent. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Do something nice for yourself. We cannot open our heart to others until we can love ourselves fully. We cannot even accept love until we know that we are worthy and deserving. Notice all of your negative thoughts today and reach for a kinder thought.