My Story

A Peace Weaver

StefDurhamMore than anything, I am someone who wants to help others and make this world a better place to live. I want to stop the suffering that I see in my fellow humans, the animals we share this planet with, and Mother Earth herself. I want to live my purpose and shine my light.

I began seeking to help weave greater peace by working for humane organizations and equine rescues. While I got to help a lot of animals, I eventually realized that I was always upset and fighting against someone. Fighting for what you believe in is a good thing, but it no longer felt as though it was the way forward for me. I was fighting against myself creating inner turmoil – not love.

That led me on a quest to help humans. I became certified as a holistic health coach so that I would have something to share. While I love the topic of health and wellness, that wasn’t quite the right fit either. So I decided to combine my loves and became qualified as an equine specialist in equine assisted therapy. This way I could partner with the horses to help people.

In 2012 I had my “dark night of the soul”. Like many Lightworkers, I climbed my way back out of the dark through spiritual healing. My study of mysticism began in earnest – I went to energy healers, angels healers, and shamans. I read everything I could get may hands on – from the Bhagavad Gita to the Dhammapada to the Holy Bible. I also studied more modern mysticism like A Course in Miracles. Indeed I was looking for a miracle.

Meanwhile I was also unemployed and desperate. So I did what all unemployed and desperate people do – I started a blog. I absolutely hated writing when I was in school and yet blogging grabbed hold of me. One day I sat down to write a blog article and just knew it was something bigger so I went to the Barnes and Nobel and bought a purple butterfly journal. Over the next month my first book, Soulful Horsemanship, poured out of me long hand. It felt as though the words were coming through me; not from me.

An Author

StefPerkins2While “write a book” was on my bucket list it was never really something that I aspired to do. I never saw myself as a writer. In an attempt to check it off my list, I started a novel in college. I got one chapter in and it was so terrible that no one but my mom ever saw it. While she was very gracious, I most definitely do not belong writing fictional story lines and dialogue!

For me, writing has become a way of connecting to the divine within. I feel as though I am channeling information when I sit down to write. I feel guided by my Soul or some higher force. Writing is like a meditation, a self-discovery tool, and a means to connect with others all in one.

Now that I have found my voice and my love for the written word, I feel blessed that I can share my heart and mind with a fabulous group of readers. For me, it feels like the ultimate way to weave peace through the world. I get to string together words and ideas that people are willing to read, and think about, and utilize in their lives. It is such an honor.

An Equine Specialist

After taking a sabbatical from working with the horses, the flame was reignited within. Slowly a stirring came back into my heart to be in the presence of horses. I listened and began volunteering for our local Therapeutic Riding Center. Over the next year and a half I got more involved – I started riding and teaching again. I actually had mixed feelings about it. I LOVE to teach and I have ridden for nearly 30 years, but there was also a deep pain that I felt.

I started to realize that I really don’t want to relate to horses from their back anymore. After I wrote Soulful Horsemanship, I stepped out of the horse world entirely. I changed my business to Living Soulful so that I could explore anything but horses. What I started to realize this time around was that I walked away because I had this vision of empowered partnership and I couldn’t figure out how that fit into the horse-rider dynamic.

It is time to give myself permission to stop riding. I never actually liked it as a kid. I did it because I felt that I had to if I wanted to be with the horses. Even as I rose up through the levels in my riding, there was always a nagging fear and unhappiness about it. I couldn’t understand why others didn’t feel this way. I now recognize that a lot of what I was feeling I was picking up empathically from the horse I was sitting on.

I am now choosing to step into my power as an equine specialist. There is so much to explore in relationship with horses from my own two feet. There is a whole new way of relating and interacting based on cooperation and trust rather than control and fear. There is the potent potential to help people to see their own divine essence in the presence of healed horses who are showing up in their full authentic power.

The equine assisted growth and learning field affords the opportunity to blend all of my passions together. I get to help people while interacting with horses from the ground. I am thrilled to be part of this community and hope to share this journey with you.

With love,
Stef

A Message from the Horses
Download this guided meditation to tune into horse energy.

Relax in the heart-energy of Equus and hear what they are calling you to do.