A belief is a statement or conviction that a person accepts as the truth. That leaves some negotiating room to determine what we want our beliefs to be. Which statements do you choose to accept as truth in your reality? One of the most prevalent belief structures in our society is the “if, then” paradigm. “If I could just get, do, have this thing then I would be happy, fulfilled, free, etc.” I’m sure you are familiar with it. We, as a culture, adopt this concept into our beliefs and accept it as truth.
My most recent “if, then” looked like this: “If I could just get a ranch, then I could coach, and then I would be happy.” There are numerous issues with this type of thinking yet we are completely willing to accept it as our truth. Why are willing to accept that a state of being has to hinge on something material and often out of our control? Why are we willing to accept that what we want is somewhere out there in the future?
The truth that we need to see about this type of thinking is that it is really a false statement to begin with. Life is not about the goal. Whenever you reach your goal you will just set another. You will just create a new “if, then” statement to chase. If your journey through life is about striving for happiness then you will still feel like you are striving for happiness when you arrive at your destination.
So what if we have it all backward? Rather than using the equation “If I could get X, then I could do Y, and then I would be Z” try switching it to “I can be Z, which will allow me to do Y, and as a result I will get X”. We only really have control over our state of being. Change the way you think and feel and the rest of it will fall into place.
Think about what you would do, want, be, have if money wasn’t an issue. Think about what you want most at the core. Ultimately, I think we all want the same things – to feel happy, loved, connected, empowered, and valued. It is possible to start with those core feelings rather than making them contingent on something outside of yourself. You don’t need to get something in order to embrace that way of being now. You already have the capacity to be anything you want – you just have to choose to change your belief.
For me, I changed my belief to: “I choose to be happy and in love with life right now, which will allow me to coach with passion, and as a result I will get a ranch.” There is a much better chance of making this equation work than my original negative belief. The awesome thing is that even if I do not get the ranch as a result, it doesn’t matter because I’m already happy. That is a liberating concept.
What is a current “if, then” statement that you have about your life? What happens when you change the equation? Share your ahas in the comments. Please pass this article along to your friends – the buttons are below. If you don’t already get email updates – be sure to sign-up for more practical ways to feel fulfilled now.