We spend so much of our energy and life by projecting our needs outside ourselves. We look to other people and the circumstances in our lives to fulfill our internal desires. We look to others to be happy. We look to others to fulfill us.
When we rely on someone or something to meet our needs we give away our power. We tell the world that we are a victim. The only way to feel as though we have any power in that situation is to exert control over others in order to try to manipulate their behavior so that they will act in a way that will meet our needs.
For example, if you have a need for recognition or acknowledgement, you may play the role of the savior. There is nothing wrong with needing recognition or acknowledgment at times – we all have that need. The problem is when you start to change your behavior in order to influence someone else to meet your needs without stating your needs to yourself or them. Then you become disempowered. If you act like the savior, you are using your behavior to influence others to recognize your good deed and appreciate you.
If you acknowledge yourself and hear your own needs, you become empowered and your needs begin to be met. If you can voice those needs to others then there is a better chance for them to be able to meet your needs and you have not surrendered your power. You can, then, do the good deed because it is an extension of your personal empowerment and self-love. Your actions are no longer a manipulation to get your needs met because you do not need to exert control.
With authentic power we are able to change our inner landscape and recognize ourselves. As we change our inner landscape our outer world will follow.
Pay attention to inner landscape and find a way to acknowledge your feelings, needs, and desires. Notice how empowered you become as you honor your needs and live with integrity.